introductory paragraph of my essay:
i love sleeping to avoid problems
every day putting on my makeup
"What does the chef recommend?"
"Sir, this is a mcdonalds"
This better be the best case of dramatic irony ever or I’ll lose my shit
need a laugh? find one yourself. welcome to the real world dumbass
Imagine if your follower count turned into money
im just a human bean
im Sorry but you two cant get the marriage. the bible said Adam and Eve not matthew and ashley. come back when youve legally changed your names
Dammit, every time
i want to read fanfiction but the fics i want to read don’t exist